Secrets and Regrets

I recently found out some disturbing news about myself. I'm going to say it, since I know anyone reading this most likely cares enough not to think of me differently. Over a year ago, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I didn't find out until about 3 weeks ago.
After the intitial relief at finally knowing, apprehension, turmoil, and fear invaded; feelings I am still trying to cope with. I have spent the last few weeks researching and reading about it. It explains a lot. Actually, it explains everything. The relief I felt at the beginning is now somewhat constant (unfortunately, so are the other feelings), because for years, I was so wrong. I know that's not very clear, but I can't explain it any other way. Just everything was wrong inside, and I always struggled with trying to explain it to myself and others. I never had the words. When I read the definition, it clicked. It was like someone had picked my brain out. It was ME.
Of course, the negative side of that is that it is incredibly hard not to let it define me- I already have a little bit, and it's a daily struggle.
On Sunday I was having a conversation with someone, in which I was making amends for past wrongs. As it progressed, we passed over the subject of my diagnosis. I was advised to forget about it. Sound advice. Logical. Reasonable. Yet absolutely impossible for me to do at this point. I can't explain why. This is how I am, how I have been for years. I am incapable of letting things like this go- I am literally incapable of just "forgetting about it". If I knew why, trust me, I would change in a heartbeat just to get past this.
I feel so helpless. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut, incapable of moving forward. I want to change this, but I don't know how. It's frustrating. I feel like others think "If I just put my mind to it, I could get past all this". The problem is, my MIND is what I'm trying to get past. 90% of BPD has to do with the way a person thinks.
So this is my vent of frustration as of now. I'm stuck. So if you wanted to bottle me up and stick a label on me, this song would be it at this point:
Secrets And Regrets- Pillar

no matter how hard you try to
you can't make the clock rewind to
the moment that you lied to yourself
it never really mattered how they felt

your secrets and regrets are keeping you from going very far
and you can't let all this get you down and keep you living in the dark
cause all you're looking for
is love
you're living in the dark
you just can't get enough
your secrets and regrets

your holding on to all this pain
can't seem to leave it all behind you
tomorrow it'll be today soon
don't wait until it's too late to move

your secrets and regrets are keeping you from going very far
and you can't let this get you down and keep you living in the dark
you're living in the dark
you just can't get enough
your secrets and regrets

how many times do you need second chances
not everybody gets another second chance
(how many times do you need second chances, not everybody gets another...)
...chance!
second chance

your secrets and regrets are keeping you from going very far
and you can't let all this get you down and keep you living in the dark
cause all you're looking for
is love
you're living in the dark
you just can't get enough
your secrets and regrets

no more secrets
(no regrets)
no more secrets
(no regrets)

no living in the dark x4