Humble Myself.

I don't really know how to start this, because I am just too weary (physically, emotionally, and mentally) to come up with something clever to say. I guess the point I want to start with is this:
Since August, I have been crying out to God constantly. Either He refuses to answer yet, or I just haven't heard it. The longer it takes for me to feel Him in my life, the more frustrated I get. The more broken I feel. The more it seems like my life is falling apart, and even though I'm SCREAMING at God to help me, He's letting it fall through my fingers like sand. Weekly I go home from youth group and sob so hard I get a migraine every time, and scream in my head because I hate how far away He feels during worship. I hate how broken I am; I hate how crazy I am. Any, yes, finally I'll admit it: I am ANGRY at God! I don't know how to change that. I feel like I'm getting crazier by the day, yet I don't understand why. I feel like I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing, but I'm still being ignored. I have been reading His word and praying daily, I have been consistently pursuing a relationship with Him, but I can't feel Him come near to me, now when I need Him the most. I don't know what else to do, or what I'm doing wrong. Obviously I still sin, but there's nothing I'm not working on (as far as I know).
This morning I decided to try a different approach. Instead of screaming for help on a daily basis, I am now going to assume and accept that He has heard me, and that He will answer me if I just listen. I think maybe I've been making too much noise of my own to hear what He has to say. So I will calm my spirit. I will wait for Him in quiet submission and humble silence. Please pray for me.

Pray for me.

Something has come up that might adversely affect me. I don't want to get ahead of myself by assuming it's true (because I honestly don't trust my own mind sometimes), but things are starting to add up. For now I'm going to assume that it's not true and stay calm. But my heart feels like it's being squeezed by an iron fist.
Please pray for me for strength, for me to stay up, and that the truth will be revealed to me.