A few nights ago as I was falling asleep, my mind began to wander (as it often does). I began to think about what life would be like after high school. I don't know what I will be doing, and the future is very confusing as of right now, but I do know one thing for sure. I want to be involved in Youth Ministry. I can't be a part of High School Ministries until I've been out of high school for a couple years, but someone suggested to me recently that Middle School Ministries might be the thing for me until then. I like the idea, but I have no idea if it's what God wants me to do, so until then, I'm trying not to make any plans and/or set my heart on anything.
But as my mind was doing it's wandering thing, and I thought about being a part of MSM, I started to think about the type of role model I would be. Which led me to think about the questions I would get if I ever wore short sleeves around the students. Rest assured there are no new scars in the making, and there never will be again, but the old ones are still there, and mostly very obvious. The part that worries me is, how would I explain that to a middle schooler adequitely? As I was thinking about this, the words popped into my head, "That is something God saved me from". And maybe I would have to explain a little more in depth, but when I thought that, it seemed right.
But then I thought about Miya and Lil Bug. Would I say the same thing to them, when they are old enough to understand? Would it still be adequite to use that form of explanation for the ones I love? How much deeper will I have to explain? I don't know.
For now I am satisfied with the response God has given me. When the time comes to tell the girls (which may not be for a very long time), I'm sure He will provide me with what to say, whether different from the above or not.
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Nobody is perfect. Nobody! We all have scars. Some of us have scars on the outside of our bodies...visible for the world to see. Others of us have scars on the inside, visible only to ourselves, God and the few we choose to share with. There, of course, are some who have both kinds.
Gods grace alone saves us from the scars. He alone allows us to live fully beyond what society may try to limit us to.
I'm very confident that when the time comes to explain our scars, God will guide us and somehow the girls will understand, learn and be merciful with us also. I would bet the middleschoolers would be the same with you. God is good like that! :)
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