Every once in a while, I remember you. Deeply. I don't mean I think of you once in a while; I do that quite often. When I remember you, it hurts. When I remember you, I forget the rest of my life.
All I can think about is how my heart would leap when I heard your voice. How it felt, the truest joy to be around you. And your smile, your genuine laugh. How perfectly safe I felt in your arms. Listening to your heartbeat when you held me. The profound connection during our conversations. The pieces of yourself that you gave me make it the hardest to accept. You revealed your soul to me. You confided in me, trusted me, respected me, valued me. Loved me. You told me so many times, and I always felt the truth in it.
It's been almost 2 years since I told you. I exposed my soul to you.
"When our souls meet the ones we are meant to be with our souls never forget."
Never forget.
Never forget.
The thought fills me with hope and despair.
There are 3 options with this statement. One is that it's true for us, and that you will realize this, which is what I desperately hope for. The second is that it's not true for us, and that my heart will eventually realize it and let go, which would be immensely better than the last option. The last option is that it IS true for us... but you decide to deny/ignore/bury it for the rest of your life. This would be the worst option, because a part of my heart would never be able to move on. You would live your life, but my soul would never forget or fully heal.
I'm remembering you now, and wondering how long it will last this time. How much more pain do I have to try to bury? Will I ever be completely free? Or will I cycle through being fine for a while then something triggering me forever?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment